Sick and tired of "X technology is only good for starting out; after you do, move to Y"? Good news: you don't need to move away, you just need to get in further! In this talk, you'll learn about improvements in the newest version of the most used database in the world. What are Window Functions? How do you use CTEs? How can the new default encoding help me (emoji! 🤦🏼♀️)? We'll also talk about new JSON features and extended UUID support! Be prepared to drink from the firehose of what's new and awesome about MySQL 8.0.